So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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