Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
