spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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