Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
