; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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