sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You can't just leave with hair like that
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I came so hard my ears popped.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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