All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
