It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
