I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
