If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Randomize
