So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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