Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Nobody cheats on THIS.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
