did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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