my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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