I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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