My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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