I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Randomize
