whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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