At least make sure they are 18
Why
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
