tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
