Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
