she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
