i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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