So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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