Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
