what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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