you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
