i just had sex bonerless
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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