We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
