Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Randomize