Apparently you make a good broom.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize