Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
