she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
