i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
