I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize