I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
