so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
What changed your mind?
Being sober
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
