C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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