I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
