Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
When are your genitals available?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
