i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
