I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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