Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Randomize