I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
