I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
stop calling my apartment porn island.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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