On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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