1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
