You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I have surprise drugs for everyone
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize