I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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