the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
