his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
