Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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