You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
