He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
