I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
