Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
