she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
