You can't motorboat a personality
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
