The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
