you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
