I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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