that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i think i have herpe
just one?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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