U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
