im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
