Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
