That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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